Dating in China is not as hard as many people think. Dating advice is like a cheap Chinese TV, it looks good, but is probably not going to work when you need it the most. The fact is that acting differently around a person because he or she lives/comes-from China is silly. At the end of the day, it is just one man, and one woman (if we believe Leviticus 20:13). Both the man and woman have the same desires, similar hopes, similar dreams, and similar instincts. It is just two people with different backgrounds, and that is the part you need to remember before you become hung up on time-honored customs or traditions.
Don’t punch a Panda and claim it had its black eyes before you even touched it
The moral of this story is do not lie to your date. Just because a person is eastern does not mean that they are going to fall for you lies because you are western. The days of foreigners believing the friendly westerner have gone, since the days the British turned up on the American shores and told the native Americans that they were just stopping over for a few days whilst they made their way to India.
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Do use your chopsticks as drumsticks whilst you wait for the next course
It’s okay to be funny. Whether you are the man or the woman, if the other person is smiling, then you are doing okay. If the other person is sat there with a miserable puss (face) the entire date, then do you really want to be with that person anyway?
Don’t spend all your time looking for taxi driver that isn’t Chinese
Do not mention social stereotypes unless the other person pokes fun at it first. Try to steer clear of generalizations and stereotypes such as how Chinese people are bad drivers, or how Chinese electronics fall apart at their first use. We must remember that such generalizations and stereotypes exist because they are funny, not because they are true. Plus if you start poking fun at your date’s home country, then he or she may point reply with comments such as how your country is a freedom sucking, vote rigging, paper tiger dressed as world police (but then we all have our faults right? Except the Swiss).
Do reply to people with Chinese sounding words if you don’t know the language
Okay, this one will be funny the first few times, so just give it a try. What you should do is be yourself. You are going to read a lot of articles about obeying Chinese customs and playing into the Chinese rules for dating, but don’t.
If you are dating then you are looking for the person who is right for you, and how you find that person is completely up to you. America may not be perfect, but whether you turn up on your first date in a suit or a chicken costume, you are not going to be rejected by your local community.
You are going to be aware of the fact that your date comes from a different background or culture, so you are going to accept his or her little quirks and oddities. So shouldn’t your date also be accepting of your little quirks and oddities too?
If you really want to get hung up on etiquette then buy a book on it, but is changing how you act in public really going to alter whom you fall in love with? All you need to know is that some people in China consider an offer of sex as a fast track to marriage (that is one lesson you learn the hard way). If he/she hops into bed fairly quickly, don’t be surprised if he/she starts look at wedding cake prices. Otherwise, your date should understand that you are not an expert on Chinese culture and etiquette and therefore are inevitably going to make the occasion faux pas.
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Don’t be shy, and don’t be a silly fool
There is no need to be shy or nervous about your date (ever), because here is some advice that will change your life (if you believe it and act on it). “Attraction is not a choice!” Take a few moments to absorb that fact…Attraction is not a choice.
We may be sophisticated humans with brains smarter than Chinese made tablet devices (mind you, what isn’t!). Yet, we are just animals and guided by our animal instincts. If you don’t think that is true, then go to Google images and type in “disfigured face”. You know that little “urgh” feeling you felt, and your hurry to click off of the page, that is your base instinct talking. Your sophisticated brain knows that they are just people with disfigurements, but your instincts say “Nooooo”.
Attraction is not a choice, but who we consort with is. Some people will not allow themselves to be exposed to persons who are not pretty and rich, because they are aware that they may fall for the ugly penniless janitor (because it happens).
There is no need to be shy or worried on your date. If the other person likes you, then they are going to like you. If they do not like you, then there is no amount of money, sex or promises that will change their mind. Once you have come to terms with this immutable truth, you can sit back and enjoy your dates, safe in the knowledge that the end result of a date is completely out of your control.